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Honey is a Phone Fling girl from the 1990s. Because time travel is involved, you need at least 25x Prestige to unlock her. "She's got kind of a crazy story to share with you. Only 90s kids will understand this one. But you don't need to be born in the 90s to appreciate Honey's other, umm... attractive qualities."[2]

She got your number and her phone from a genie after she "rubbed one out" on the genie's lamp. The lamp was given to her by a vaudeville-style villain.

The genie told her to look for a place "Where [she] left [her] dreams" and to make them come true... which apparently is her treehouse.

In the present year when she was looking through her stuff to use for a yard sale, she rediscovered the same phone that contacted you from the 90s. She uses it to contact you again in the recent year.

After the event where she went back home, she had a farewell episode where she reminisced about zany stuff that happened during the show. Since you last heard from her, she went to college, got married and had children. Her kids are soon grown enough to live on their own and her spouse is recently deceased. She is now a widow who's joined several clubs, including the "Suburban Ladies' Baking Association".

Personality[]

Honey is a 1990s girl who gets into various misadventures (e.g. travelling with King Arthur, thanks to some X-ray goggles that got some potion on them). She likes to roller skate, and is fiercely competitive with her rival, the perky Becky Brewner. Her life has seemed somewhat more contrived than normal lately - she recently broke a witch's curse by jumping in her roller skates over a singing shark. At least this latest adventure involving you started in a more reasonable way than that one!

As an adult, she became more mature with an open mind on reality.

Trivia[]

  • Honey is a family-friendly fantasy TV show character that leans against the fourth wall.
  • She has a magical troll called Fergel, that lives in her attic.
  • She has a younger sister
  • Her rival's name is Becky Brewner.
  • She has literally jumped the shark.

References[]

  • The wand/"Honey Stick" she holds in her third photo is based on Sailor Moon's Crescent Moon Wand, and the teddy bear she holds appears to be inspired by the Care Bears.
  • Her rival, Becky Brewner, may be a shout-out to the 80s sitcom Punky Brewster.

Messages[]

Honey's texts to you depend pretty heavily on both the options you choose and on whether you are playing in SFW mode or Moist and Uncensored mode. Aside from the long pauses and the brief pauses after your replies, Honey's texts appear at a rapid fire pace. This is odd, given her characterization, unless it is one of the Magical effects of her Magical Phone.

SFW version[]

Progress SFW chat
1/92 Hey, umm, hi! Hello!
2/92 Sorry to bother you.
3/92 ...out of the blue...
4/92 This is probably a super duper long shot, but I could really use a little help, and someone gave me your name...
5/92 And phone number.
6/92 (Obviously).
7/92 Also, your picture.
8/92 And several of your personal items...
9/92 (You have great taste in undies, by the way!)
10/92 Okay, I'm making this awkward.
11/92 Sorry!
12/92 Here's the deal! I'm looking for someone who's prepared for...
13/92 ...the peculiar.
14/92 I'm experiencing what you might call a "fantastical adventure".
15/92 And I've got, like, a million questions that are just gonna sound a little... You know...
16/92 Cuckoo?
17/92 Crazy-face?
18/92 Let's just say "Implausible."
19/92 And I need someone I can pester for info without freaking them the heck out.
20/92 (Excuse my language.)
21/92 So, uhh... Yeah. That's it. That's the thing.
22/92 You got a little time to help a damsel in distress?
(A) You had me at "damsel in distress". Actually, you had me at "Hello!" (I like helping).
(B) Okay, sure, but WHO gave you my number? And my undies?
23/93 Oh wow! Really? That's radical! :O Okay yeah, you see, those are the kinds of reasonable questions that are going to make this all a bit awkward.
24/92 Oh my gosh, you didn't make me answer a riddle or fetch you a gadget or give you a password or anything! The short answer is... A genie from the future gave me that stuff.
25/92 Wow, this has never happened before. You just rocked my world a bit! Booyah! But I'll give you the long answer too. But I warn you - it's not going to get much more credible from here.
26/92 Okay, so, explanation time.
27/92 My name is Honey by the way! Nice to meet you...
28/92 Marshmallow? Is that right? That's what my Magical Phone has you listed as.
29/92 Aww nice. Honey and Marshmallow. We're a sweet pair, hey? :D
30/92 Sorry! Distracted! Back to explanation!
31/92 Okay, so, I met this creepy guy in a trench coat at the Mall.
32/92 I thought, you know, he's going to try to sell me a drugs or something.
33/92 I mean, he had this moustache. And there was sinister music playing.
34/92 You know the type. Typical villain. Real shady looking guy.
35/92 Anyway, so he comes up to me and I get a little frightened.
36/92 I try calling for Fergel, the Magical Troll that lives in my attic.
37/92 But it turned out he was helping my younger sister at her dance recital.
38/92 So I roll my eyes. "Oh Fergel!" Rimshot. Audience laughs.
39/92 And I think the laughter threw off the Moustache Man, because suddenly he gets super twitchy.
40/92 He shoves a lamp into my hand and says something really cryptic...
41/92 (What was it again?)
42/92 Oh yeah! It was, "The Past is past and gone. But in the Future you will come."
43/92 Or something.
44/92 I think it rhymed.
45/92 Anyway! This lamp.
46/92 It's, like, one of those old timey lamps.
47/92 You know, like Aladdin and the 40 Leaves, or whatever?[3]
48/92 And on the side it says, "Rub one out."
49/92 So I rub this lamp like my life depends on it. Because that's just the sort of day I was having.
50/92 And out pops this genie.
51/92 She gives me a Magical Phone that lets me travel through time. And she tells me to "Find where I left my dreams, and make them come true."
52/92 Then she gave me your undies.
53/92 (I think she was drunk.)
54/92 The Phone opens this gnarly portal, I fall in, and suddenly everything is all futuristic.
55/92 So this is the part where I ask, "What year is it?!" Hahaha!
56/92 No, but seriously, what year is it?
(A) The year is 20XX. And judging by your slang, you've drifted a few decades forward.
(B) Okay, that all sounds pretty standard. In fact if the genie has nice boobs, I might meet her myself...
57/92 Oh wow! That's not bad at all! Oh my gosh, the genie DID have boobs!
58/92 See, one time, I traveled back in time to King Arthur's court. Like really really big ones!
59/92 My geeky neighbour had built a time machine out of a pair of sunglasses and a nuclear thingy. Honestly, I probably got myself into this mess because those boobs just REALLY distracted me.
60/92 Though I was PRETTY sure they were just glasses to see through my clothes. I bet there was some sort of magic word I was supposed to remember.
61/92 Because I just so happened not to be wearing underwear that day, and my neighbor got REALLY awkward once he turned them on. But they were all like - bounce bounce bounce bounce.
62/92 You know how it is. Roll eyes. "Oh Andrew!" Rimshot. Audience laughs. And I couldn't tell if the genie was, like, naked? Like I couldn't see any nipple action going on, but I couldn't see any sleeves or collar or anything.[4]
63/92 Anyway, it super distracted him and he spilled a potion or something on the glasses. Honestly, if the genie had been one of those wisher-types, I might have accidentally wished for boobs like that.
64/92 Boom! King Arthur's court! Off on another whirlwind adventure! Then I could REALLY show Becky Brewner who's boss.
65/92 It actually was pretty righteous, except for all the plagues. But I did enjoy the singing! I just KNOW that she got picked first for the intramural roller derby team because she never wears a bra.
66/92 Luckily I escaped before they burned me for being a witch. If you ask me though, there was something shifty about that duck...[5] Stupid sexy Becky and her amazingly perky boobs.
67/92 Anyway, I think the best way you can help me is with the genie's riddle.
68/92 What do you think she meant by "Where I left my dreams"?
(A) I'm still not really over most of your story. Maybe you could go back a bit?
(B) Well, assuming we're not talking real dreams, where do you do most of your day dreaming?
69/92 Wait! That's is! "Go back"! Hmmm...
70/92 After I came out of the time portal, I was still at the Mall. Oh! Actually, that's a good thought!
71/92 (It hadn't aged well, by the way. Are Malls not cool anymore?) If it were just regular dreams, I would say my bed.
72/92 But I haven't even checked my old home or anything yet. But I've got a special place I built EXACTLY for daydreams.
73/92 The best place that comes to mind is my old tree house!
74/92 I used to have a LOT of adventures in there.
75/92 And, umm... Adventures of a different sort.
76/92 Like - the self-discovery sort.
77/92 My best friend and I used to practice kissing in there.
78/92 And... Umm... Other stuff.
79/92 Our braces got stuck together once, and we had to convince the fireman we were practicing CPR.
80/92 If there's any place where I "left my dreams", it's there for sure!
81/92 Thanks for your help! I'll message you when I know for sure if we got the right spot!
82/92 I'll be back after this short word from our sponsors![6]
Pause 12 hour 13 minute 20 second pause
83/92 Hey!
84/92 It's me again!
85/92 I made it!
86/92 I made it to the Tree Fort!
87/92 One sec, I'll send proof.
88/92 The genie said this Magic Phone had a camera...
89/92 But I didn't believe her. Imagine that! A camera in your phone!
Pause 1 hour pause
90/92 Oh wait I found it!
91/92 Here we are!
92/92 [Honey photo 1]
1/34 Tadaa! It's Honey!
2/34 (That's me!)
(A) Gee willikers! You sure are a sight for sore eyes, Ms Honey.
(B) Can I say it? With that smile, you're definitely sweeter than honey.
3/34 Haha! You goof! You can just call me Honey. Oooo! Thank you! You're so sweet! Tee hee! I'm blushing!
4/34 But thank you for the compliment! <3 And thank you for not... You know...
5/34 ...at least I hope it was a compliment. Making a "Honey suckles" joke.
6/34 I'm literally incapable of sarcasm. I've heard them all. Especially after I... You know... Filled out my bra.
7/34 I lost the ability to do it after I switched brains with my school principal. It's nice hearing a lame, sweet joke like that.
8/34 Okay, so, what sorta "dreams" do you think the genie meant?
9/34 Like - my dream to become an astronaut?
10/34 Or score the winning goal in the big soccer game?
11/34 Or my dream of going to prom with ALL of the Side Street Bad Boys?
12/34 (Hee hee!)
(A) What does your gut tell you?
(B) If you're in the right spot, it must have something to do with your tree house, right?
13/34 My gut tells me I could really use an Ecto Cooler... Hmm... That's a good point.
14/34 Well...
15/34 Like I said...
16/34 My Treehouse was where I used to come to...
17/34 Have "Honey time".
18/34 If you know what I mean...
(A) I think I do.
(B) Go on.
19/34 Okay good. I'm sort of awful at subtlety. Eeek! Okay!
20/34 Okay... So, I used to have this one dream...
21/34 Where I would invite my crush up to the Tree House...
Pause 1 hour pause
22/34 And we would be reading comic books and listening to Duran Duran.
23/34 I would go to reach over to grab a comic...
24/34 And I would catch my crush... You know...
25/34 Looking...
26/34 At me?
27/34 And then I would... Make it easier for them to look?
28/34 And I would give them this wink...
29/34 And they would...
30/34 Sorry, I'm not great with words. >.<
31/34 One sec... I'll SHOW you what I mean...
Pause 2 day pause
32/34 Okay, I've got a pic to share.
33/34 This was what my #1 dream would have looked like...
34/34 [Honey photo 2]
1/63 Gosh, I can't tell you how many times I imagined that little fantasy.
2/63 I never brought a crush to my Tree House.
3/63 Just Sam, my best friend. But that was just practice.
4/63 *Sigh* I had forgotten that deep desire I had.
5/63 Maybe this is what this adventure is for?
6/63 If so, it's a bit more, umm...
7/63 Naughty...
8/63 Than my other adventures.
9/63 What do you think?
(A) I think it's obvious - you have unfinished business in that Tree House.
(B) I totally get that feeling. Maybe I can help with it?
Pause 5 minute pause
10/63 I think... Oh! Yes please!
11/63 I think you're right... Whoops! Hahaha! Sorry! I got a little eager there.
12/63 If you REALLY want to help me...
13/63 I, umm....
14/63 I have a VERY specific thing I would like for you to do.
15/63 If you're feeling up for it...
(A) Yeah sure, anything.
(B) As long as I'm not required to purchase diamonds, I'm game.
16/63 Welllll... Hear me out first before you start getting too generous. Oh no! You don't need to buy me jewelry or anything like that.
17/63 Okay, here's the thing...
18/63 And I hope this isn't as weird as it sounds in my head...
19/63 If I'm going to do anything in this Tree House...
20/63 I would like you to...
21/63 Make a whole bunch of 90s references. >.<
(A) My reference game is on point. Let's do this.
(B) Hold on a sec. Let me just pull a bunch from the internet.
22/63 That's perfect! What's an internet? Is that like an AOL?
23/63 I love your can-do attitude. Oh! Nevermind. I don't want to alter the timeline or anything.
24/63 Okay, one sec.
25/63 Let me get ready.
26/63 Back soon!
Pause 1 day pause
27/63 Okay.
28/63 I'm ready.
29/63 (I can't believe I'm doing this! Hahaha!)
(A) Encyclopedia Britannica.
(B) VHS Tapes.
30/63 Oh! A very cerebral start, hahaha! Oh what? Those are a 90s thing? They go away? What do they get replaced with?
31/63 Keep going... Never mind, let's keep going.
(A) TGIF.
(B) Madonna.
Pause 10 minute pause
32/63 Oooh, those are my favorite TV shows! AND my favorite commercials, hahaha! Oh no! MADONNA is a 90s thing? But she's so timeless! :O
Pause 5 minute pause
33/63 Okay, things are, ummm... Going well on my end.
34/63 Keep the pop-culture references coming.
(A) Bagel bites.
(B) Kelly Kapowski.
Pause 15 minute pause
35/63 Delicious! Keep going! She's a cutie! Keep going!
(A) Crystal Pepsi!
(B) You've got mail!
36/63 MY FAVORITE! YES! LET'S GO SURFING!
Pause 20 minute pause
37/63 YES!
38/63 THAT DID IT!
39/63 I MEAN...
40/63 Oh my gosh!
41/63 Thank you so much!
42/63 Oh wow!
43/63 I wasn't expecting that to work so well.
44/63 It was like...
45/63 It was like you were here with me.
46/63 And it made it so...
47/63 Wonderful.
48/63 Thank you.
(A) You're welcome. Still not the strangest relationship I've ever had.
(B) This game is so weird.
49/63 Hahaha! Me neither! I'm not sure what you mean, but that's pretty much my whole life, so I agree.
Pause 1 hour pause
50/63 Oh!
51/63 My Magic Phone is showing that the Time Portal is ready to take me home!
52/63 I guess he magic genie really did want me to travel to the future so I could go back to the Tree House of my youth and take care of my unfinished business there.
53/63 I should have known!
54/63 It's actually pretty obvious.
55/63 Well, I would like to thank you for making my weird adventure so memorable and special.
56/63 If you ever find yourself on a "fantastic adventure" back to the 90s, look me up. I'm in the phone book!
57/63 And for helping me, I've got something for you...
58/63 I took a picture before I got started...
59/63 Umm...
60/63 "The Excellent Adventure".[7]
61/63 Hold on, one sec. My phone is starting to slow down. I guess it's reverting back to 90s technology mode.
Pause 3 day pause
62/63 Here you go! I had a little EXTRA help from my favorite "Honey Stick", back from my awkward teen years.
63/63 [Honey Photo 3]
1/∞ Thanks for everything.
2/∞ Don't forget me!
3/∞ And as we say in the 90s...
4/∞ Good Journey.

Moist version[]

The NSFW conversation starts to diverge from the SFW conversation after Honey asks you what year it is (56/92).

Progress Moist and Uncensored chat
1/92 Hey, umm, hi! Hello!
2/92 Sorry to bother you.
3/92 ...out of the blue...
4/92 This is probably a super duper long shot, but I could really use a little help, and someone gave me your name...
5/92 And phone number.
6/92 (Obviously).
7/92 Also, your picture.
8/92 And several of your personal items...
9/92 (You have great taste in undies, by the way!)
10/92 Okay, I'm making this awkward.
11/92 Sorry!
12/92 Here's the deal! I'm looking for someone who's prepared for...
13/92 ...the peculiar.
14/92 I'm experiencing what you might call a "fantastical adventure".
15/92 And I've got, like, a million questions that are just gonna sound a little... You know...
16/92 Cuckoo?
17/92 Crazy-face?
18/92 Let's just say "Implausible."
19/92 And I need someone I can pester for info without freaking them the heck out.
20/92 (Excuse my language.)
21/92 So, uhh... Yeah. That's it. That's the thing.
22/92 You got a little time to help a damsel in distress?
(A) You had me at "damsel in distress". Actually, you had me at "Hello!" (I like helping).
(B) Okay, sure, but WHO gave you my number? And my undies?
23/93 Oh wow! Really? That's radical! :O Okay yeah, you see, those are the kinds of reasonable questions that are going to make this all a bit awkward.
24/92 Oh my gosh, you didn't make me answer a riddle or fetch you a gadget or give you a password or anything! The short answer is... A genie from the future gave me that stuff.
25/92 Wow, this has never happened before. You just rocked my world a bit! Booyah! But I'll give you the long answer too. But I warn you - it's not going to get much more credible from here.
26/92 Okay, so, explanation time.
27/92 My name is Honey by the way! Nice to meet you...
28/92 Marshmallow? Is that right? That's what my Magical Phone has you listed as.
29/92 Aww nice. Honey and Marshmallow. We're a sweet pair, hey? :D
30/92 Sorry! Distracted! Back to explanation!
31/92 Okay, so, I met this creepy guy in a trench coat at the Mall.
32/92 I thought, you know, he's going to try to sell me a drugs or something.
33/92 I mean, he had this moustache. And there was sinister music playing.
34/92 You know the type. Typical villain. Real shady looking guy.
35/92 Anyway, so he comes up to me and I get a little frightened.
36/92 I try calling for Fergel, the Magical Troll that lives in my attic.
37/92 But it turned out he was helping my younger sister at her dance recital.
38/92 So I roll my eyes. "Oh Fergel!" Rimshot. Audience laughs.
39/92 And I think the laughter threw off the Moustache Man, because suddenly he gets super twitchy.
40/92 He shoves a lamp into my hand and says something really cryptic...
41/92 (What was it again?)
42/92 Oh yeah! It was, "The Past is past and gone. But in the Future you will come."
43/92 Or something.
44/92 I think it rhymed.
45/92 Anyway! This lamp.
46/92 It's, like, one of those old timey lamps.
47/92 You know, like Aladdin and the 40 Leaves, or whatever?[3]
48/92 And on the side it says, "Rub one out."
49/92 So I rub this lamp like my life depends on it. Because that's just the sort of day I was having.
50/92 And out pops this genie.
51/92 She gives me a Magical Phone that lets me travel through time. And she tells me to "Find where I left my dreams, and make them come true."
52/92 Then she gave me your undies.
53/92 (I think she was drunk.)
54/92 The Phone opens this gnarly portal, I fall in, and suddenly everything is all futuristic.
55/92 So this is the part where I ask, "What year is it?!" Hahaha!
56/92 No, but seriously, what year is it?
(A) Holy. Fuck.
(B) Wibbly wobbly what the hell?
57/92 WHOA! WHOA WHOA WHOA! I know. Not the worst start to an adventure ever, but lately things have started feeling...
58/92 That word! A litle forced?
59/92 Fuck! Like, if my life was being written by a team of writers, I might accuse them of starting to phone it in.
60/92 Oh my god! Like just the other day, I was down at the beach.
61/92 It didn't get bleeped! And there was this Shark.
62/92 Wait... Like, a singing Shark? You know, singing about the food chain and stuff?
63/92 Tits! Anyway, I had to jump over him in order to break this witch's curse.
64/92 Pussy! So I jumped that Shark on my roller skates.[8]
65/92 Cunt! And I got first prize! AND I got to show up Becky Brewner.
66/92 This place is amazing!!! Wait, what was I talking about? Never mind.
67/92 Anyway, I think the best way you can help me is with the genie's riddle.
68/92 What do you think she meant by "Where I left my dreams"?
(A) I've got an idea. Let's find where this genie lives, and threaten to drop a tree on her house.
(B) Knowing how things work around here, where are you most likely to touch yourself?
69/92 Oh wait! Tree - house! Oh! You mean, like...
70/92 That's brilliant! What Cyndi Lauper was singing about?
71/92 Not the threat. That was sort of forced. She Bop?[9]
72/92 But you reminded me of the perfect place I might have "left my dreams"! Like TOUCH touch myself?
73/92 The best place that comes to mind is my old tree house!
74/92 I used to have a LOT of adventures in there.
75/92 And, umm... Adventures of a different sort.
76/92 Like - the self-discovery sort.
77/92 My best friend and I used to practice kissing in there.
78/92 And... Umm... You know... Humping and stuff.
79/92 Our braces got stuck together once, and we had to convince the fireman we were practicing CPR.
80/92 If there's any place where I "left my dreams", it's there for sure!
81/92 Thanks for your help! I'll message you when I know for sure if we got the right spot!
82/92 I'll be back after this short word from our sponsors![6]
Pause 12 hour 13 minute 20 second pause
83/92 Hey!
84/92 It's me again!
85/92 I made it!
86/92 I made it to the Tree Fort!
87/92 One sec, I'll send proof.
88/92 The genie said this Magic Phone had a camera...
89/92 But I didn't believe her. Imagine that! A camera in your phone!
Pause 1 hour pause
90/92 Oh wait I found it!
91/92 Here we are!
92/92 [Honey photo 1]
1/34 Tadaa! It's Honey!
2/34 (That's me!)
(A) I never understood, until this moment, how awesome the 90s were.
(B) Boobs!
3/34 Haha! Yeah, the 80s and 90s are awesome! Oh my gosh, it's like none of your dirty words are bleeped at all.
4/34 That's when all my best adventures have taken place. ...
5/34 When I met that magic cat... Fuck me in the ass!
6/34 Or got stuck in that hot air balloon for 12 hours... Oh my gawd! Oh my gawd! I thought for sure that would get bleeped! O_O
7/34 Or that time all those zombies started dancing all... Wapow! Washaw! Sorry for cussing - I actually didn't mean to. Hahaha!
8/34 Okay, so, what sorta "dreams" do you think the genie meant?
9/34 Like - my dream to become an astronaut?
10/34 Or score the winning goal in the big soccer game?
11/34 Or my dream of going to prom with ALL of the Side Street Bad Boys?
12/34 (Hee hee!)
(A) What does your gut tell you?
(B) If you're in the right spot, it must have something to do with your tree house, right?
13/34 My gut tells me I could really use an Ecto Cooler... Hmm... That's a good point.
14/34 Well...
15/34 Like I said...
16/34 My Treehouse was where I used to come to...
17/34 Have "Honey time".
18/34 If you know what I mean...
(A) I think I do.
(B) Go on.
19/34 Okay good. I'm sort of awful at subtlety. Eeek! Okay!
20/34 Okay... So, I used to have this one dream...
21/34 Where I would invite my crush up to the Tree House...
Pause 1 hour pause
22/34 And we would be reading comic books and listening to Duran Duran.
23/34 I would go to reach over to grab a comic...
24/34 And I would catch my crush... You know...
25/34 Looking...
26/34 And I'm not wearing any underwear...
27/34 Then I would reach down... And start touching...
28/34 And they wouldn't be able to...
29/34 And I...
30/34 Sorry, I'm not great with words. >.<
31/34 One sec... I'll SHOW you what I mean...
Pause 2 day pause
32/34 Okay, I've got a pic to share.
33/34 This was what my #1 dream would have looked like...
34/34 [NSFW photo]
1/63 Gosh, I can't tell you how many times I imagined that little fantasy.
2/63 I never brought a crush to my Tree House.
3/63 Just Sam, my best friend. And we just did over-the-clothes kind of stuff.
4/63 *Sigh* I had forgotten that deep desire I had.
5/63 Maybe this is what this adventure is for?
6/63 If so, it's a bit more, umm...
7/63 Naughty...
8/63 Than my other adventures.
9/63 What do you think?
(A) I think this is definitely what the magic genie wanted you to do.
(B) I think there's literally nothing to lose in fucking yourself and seeing if you feel better.
Pause 5 minute pause
10/63 It definitely feels like the sort of thing a weird genie would want, hey? Hahaha! Well, that's one way to put it!
11/63 And if so, this still isn't the naughtiest adventure I've ever had, so I don't see a reason to avoid it. Gosh! Every time you swear, I get all tingly and anxious. Hahaha! What a world to live in!
12/63 If you REALLY want to help me...
13/63 I, umm....
14/63 I have a VERY specific thing I would like for you to do.
15/63 If you're feeling up for it...
(A) Yeah sure, anything.
(B) As long as I'm not required to purchase diamonds, I'm game.
16/63 Welllll... Hear me out first before you start getting too generous. Oh no! You don't need to buy me jewelry or anything like that.
17/63 Okay, here's the thing...
18/63 And I hope this isn't as weird as it sounds in my head...
19/63 If I'm going to do anything in this Tree House...
20/63 I would like you to...
21/63 Make a whole bunch of 90s references. >.<
(A) My reference game is on point. Let's do this.
(B) Hold on a sec. Let me just pull a bunch from the internet.
22/63 That's perfect! What's an internet?
23/63 I love your can-do attitude. Oh! Nevermind. I don't want to alter the timeline or anything.
24/63 Okay, one sec.
25/63 Let me get ready.
26/63 Back soon!
Pause 1 day pause
27/63 Okay.
28/63 I'm ready.
29/63 (I can't believe I'm doing this! Hahaha!)
(A) Encyclopedia Britannica.
(B) VHS Tapes.
30/63 Oh! A very cerebral start, hahaha! Oh what? Those are a 90s thing? They go away? What do they get replaced with?
31/63 Keep going... Never mind, let's keep going.
(A) Thursday night - Must See TV.
(B) Madonna.
Pause 10 minute pause
32/63 Oooh, those are my favorite TV shows! AND my favorite commercials, hahaha! Oh no! MADONNA is a 90s thing? But she's so timeless! :O
Pause 5 minute pause
33/63 Okay, I'm umm...
34/63 I'm starting to get REALLY wet...
(A) Bagel bites.
(B) Kellee Kapowskee.
Pause 15 minute pause
35/63 Delicious! Keep going! She's a cutie! Keep going!
(A) Crystal Popsi!
(B) You've got mail!
36/63 MY FAVORITE! YES! LET'S GO SURFING!
Pause 20 minute pause
37/63 YES!
38/63 OH YES!!
39/63 I'M CUMMING!
40/63 OH MY GOOOOODDDD!!!
41/63 HAHAHA!
42/63 Oh wow!
43/63 I wasn't expecting that to work so well.
44/63 It was like...
45/63 It was like you were here with me.
46/63 And it made it so...
47/63 Wonderful.
48/63 Thank you.
(A) You're welcome. Still not the strangest relationship I've ever had.
(B) This game is so weird.
49/63 Hahaha! Me neither! I'm not sure what you mean, but that's pretty much my whole life, so I agree.
Pause 1 hour pause
50/63 Oh!
51/63 My Magic Phone is showing that the Time Portal is ready to take me home!
52/63 I guess he magic genie really did want me to travel to the future so I could go back to the Tree House of my youth and take care of my unfinished business there.
53/63 I should have known!
54/63 It's actually pretty obvious.
55/63 Well, I would like to thank you for making my weird adventure so memorable and special.
56/63 If you ever find yourself on an "excellent adventure" back to the 90s, look me up. I'm in the phone book!
57/63 And for helping me, I've got something for you...
58/63 I took a pic during the "climax" of...
59/63 Umm...
60/63 "The Excellent Adventure".[7]
61/63 Hold on, one sec. My phone is starting to slow down. I guess it's reverting back to 90s technology mode.
Pause 3 day pause
62/63 Here you go! I had a little EXTRA help from my favorite "Honey Stick", back from my awkward teen years.
63/63 [NSFW Photo]
1/∞ Thanks for everything.
2/∞ Don't forget me!
3/∞ And as we say in the 90s...
4/∞ Good Journey.

Second Conversation[]

Honey texts you back in the present year from looking through her stuff to use for a yard sale and busy making cupcakes for a bake sale club. She asks you if you're real or not from remembering the sexual experience she had with you from the treehouse.

SFW version[]

Progress SFW chat
1/42 All right, I've made up my mind.
2/42 I'm texting you to ask...
3/42 Are you real?
(A) I think so? How do I check?
(B) Honey, I'm all that and a bag of chips B)
4/42 Oh wow. Omigosh! It is you!
5/42 I honestly wasn't expecting an answer. And you remember me?
6/42 This is so wild! It's been...
7/42 Well, I guess it hasn't been very long for you at all!
(A) Feels like eons. Why, how long has it been for you?
(B) So wassup homeslice? More time travelling adventures?


NSFW version[]

Progress Moist and Uncensored chat
1/42 All right, I've made up my mind.
2/42 I'm texting you to ask...
3/42 Are you real?
(A) I think so? How do I check?
(B) Honey, I'm all that and a bag of chips B)
4/42 Oh wow. Omigosh! It is you!
5/42 I honestly wasn't expecting an answer. And you remember me?
6/42 This is so wild! It's been...
7/42 Well, I guess it hasn't been very long for you at all!
(A) Feels like eons. Why, how long has it been for you?
(B) So wassup homeslice? More time travelling adventures?
8/42 Umm... Ahhh not exactly?
9/42 Oh boy, I really didn't think through what to say next (???)


  1. Crystal Pepsi was one of most popular Soft drinks in 90s.
  2. Honey is here! Steam announcement
  3. 3.0 3.1 Aladdin and the 40 Leaves refers to the folk tale Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves (which the Disney Aladdin movies are also loosely based upon).
  4. Many anime with naked female characters are censored by erasing the nipples.
  5. (Just barely escaping from) being burned as a witch is a reference to the "Witch" scene in the 1975 film Monty Python and the Holy Grail. ("If you ask me though, there was something shifty about that duck..." - the witch in that scene is weighed against a duck)
  6. 6.0 6.1 Several TV shows have their characters announce the commercial breaks.
  7. 7.0 7.1 "The Excellent Adventure" is likely a shout-out to the 1989 film Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.
  8. "Jumping the shark" is a reference to a 1977 episode of Happy Days and idiomatically emphasizes Honey's writers "phoning it in."
  9. Cyndi Lauper's She Bop music video, from 1984. (and Wikipedia entry)

Gallery[]

Phone Fling Gallery (Mobile Version Exclusive)[]

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