Crush Crush Wikia
Advertisement

Jaxon is wandering through the Australian bush. His Phone Fling is unlocked when you reach Lover+ 1 level with Garret, at which point he finds a phone with your contact info in it.

Personality[]

Jaxon is the kind that likes the simple life, so he goes wandering in the wilderness to clear his mind whenever life deals harsh blows or complications. He likes wearing thongs (sandals), but complains that they are not very practical attire while wandering in the bush.

Trivia[]

  • "That's not a knife." is a reference to a scene from Crocodile Dundee.
    • "Well it's not a spoon" is a reference a scene from The Simpsons that spoofs the Crocodile Dundee scene.
  • Drop bears (Thylarctos plummetus) are large, arboreal, predatory marsupials related to koala bears.

Messages[]

Note that pauses under 5 minutes long are not indicated. Where the progress column says (A) or (B), these are your left and right options for how to respond.

SFW Version[]

Jaxon finds a phone that was dropped in the Australian bush. It still works, and it has your contact info!

Progress SFW chat
1/33 Anyone there?
2/33 Hello?
3/33 Wonderin' if this number's a dud?
(A) Hi? Someone is here.
(B) New phone, who dis?
4/33 Bloody awesome. Just a rando in the middle of woop woop.
5/33 Found a phone out here and wondered if it'd connect.
6/33 Don't know what to do now.
7/33 Haven't had much human contact for a while.
8/33 Name's Jaxon.
9/33 How's it going?
(A) Can't complain. Always happy to have someone interesting to talk to.
(B) Same old, same old.
10/33 Sick. Sounds nice.
11/33 Can't relate, haha. I'm buggered out here.
12/33 Decided to avoid civilisation a while back.
13/33 But bloody hell.
14/33 Mostly, I love it out here...
15/33 But talking to someone that's not an animal... That's a nice change of pace.
(A) I too forget what that's like sometimes.
(B) Awww, but they're so cute when they talk back with their little fuzzy mouths.
16/33 Doing some social distancin' of your own, aye? You been eating strange berries, or something?
17/33 Good on ya. No judgement. Do what ya gotta, you know?
18/33 Bit of rough and tumble out here.
19/33 Again. Don't get me wrong. This is what I signed on for.
20/33 But I miss wearing thongs.
21/33 Can't prance about the bush wearing those. A man's liable to get bit.
(A) I'm... sorry?
(B) If Tarzan can wear a loincloth, why can't you wear a thong?
22/33 Uhhhh... You're excused? Huh?
23/33 What's so weird about wearing thongs? Well, I'd wear more than one, obviously.
24/33 That's all me and my mates would wear back in the day. But what's it got to do with Tarzan?
25/33 Nothing better for nipping off to the pub for a pint on a hot day. Too much sun, love?
26/33 I take it you don't wear a lot of thongs.
27/33 Comfy. That's all I'm gonna say.
28/33 Can't wear 'em with socks or I look like a bit of a dag.
(A) I have so many questions.
(B) Has the sun gotten to you?
29/33 You not the full quid? Sun's bloody beautiful, no issue there.
30/33 Ah crap. Give me a mo, I'm flat out right now.
31/33 Thing's gettin' a bit iffy on my end.
Pause 4 hour pause
32/33 Alright, back. Take a gander.
33/33 [Jaxon Photo 1]
(A) That's not a knife.
(B) Woah. Look at this tall drink of water.
1/38 Well, it's not a spoon, that's for sure. Haha, thanks, I try to keep myself trim.
2/38 Sorry 'bout that.
3/38 Ya know how them drop bears be.
4/38 Always gotta be on the lookout.
(A) The what now?
(B) Bears that drop from the sky?!
5/38 Drop bears. Mean pieces of crap. Hahaha, nah mate.
6/38 Hang from trees, waiting for their prey. Trees. They hang from the branches waitin' for their next meal.
7/38 Get too close to their trees, they fall on ya and rip ya to shreds. Never cross paths with a drop bear, you'll regret it.
8/38 If ya ever in the bush, keep an eye out.
9/38 Anyway, where were we at before?
(A) Talking about how you wear sexy underwear outdoors.
(B) You kept talking about thongs. And I like a guy comfortable with his masculinity.
10/38 Won't lie, I love a good pair of knickers but I don't know what you're on about. Of course I'm comfortable. But what's that got to do with a pair of thongs?
11/38 Bit of a galah, are ya?
12/38 Actin' all clueless to keep me on my toes.
13/38 Haven't had a ripper of a time like this in ages.
(A) Please speak English you gorgeous man. I wish to converse with you.
(B) I don't know what I'm doing but I'm happy it's making you laugh?
14/38 Dunno what you mean. Speakin' straight Ozzie to ya. Last time I had this big of a laugh, I was at me mate's piss up before I left for the bush.
15/38 Hahaha, thanks for the flattery too. Deadset, you're a bloody hoot.
16/38 Seriously, you don't know how much I needed this.
17/38 Not to get too real with ya or anything.
18/38 Since I did only just meet you by pickin' up a rando phone in the middle of nowhere.
19/38 Truth is, I lost some mates recently.
20/38 Me and some other blokes and sheilas partied hard in their memory.
21/38 But I couldn't seem to snap back to normal, ya know?
22/38 Didn't wanna end up reliant on the goon like some of the others were.
(A) Jaxon, I'm so sorry.
(B) So you've spent the last couple months in the bush?
23/38 Thanks. Appreciated. Probs not the best coping mechanism.
24/38 But I gotta keep going, that's all I know. But there's something good and proper about being in control.
25/38 But yeah, the bush is where I tend to land when the going's tough.
26/38 Always been a wild kid. Liked mucking around in the trees and mud.
27/38 Simple life agrees with me. It's easier.
(A) You plan to go back to your other friends, right? Can't stay out forever.
(B) You're an impressive person. But don't you think other people might need you?
28/38 Maybe a couple more weeks. Didn't up and go without telling anyone.
29/38 But you make a good point. But then again, how would they reach me if somethin' did go wrong.
30/38 You know, you remind me a little of a cousin of mine.
31/38 Bit of a mad lad. But he's got a good heart. Always rescuin' cats from trees.
32/38 Talks a bit funny. But if that's the most I can complain about a bloke, that bloke is doing something right.
(A) That sounds a LOT like a guy I know. Goes by Garret?
(B) People like that are handy when you've got to deal with a lot of bull.
33/38 Well, wrestle my wallaby. Sounds like you know him. Judging by your word choice there, I think we're both on the same page, love.
34/38 And if you're a friend of Garret, you're a friend of Jaxon.
35/38 Alright, I'm gonna go clear my head for a bit.
36/38 Back in a tick.
Pause 2 day pause
37/38 If one more creature goes for my trouser snake, I'm gonna scream.
38/38 [Jaxon Photo 2]
(A) I would say you're not wearing trousers but this is more of your slang, isn't it?
(B) That's one way to snap out of a funk.
1/21 I think it's pretty self explanatory what I was talkin' about. Came out of bloody nowhere, I'll tell ya.
2/21 But good on ya for catchin' onto the slang. Luckily the water's super clear so I could see it.
3/21 Wanna thank ya real quick.
4/21 You really pulled my head in before.
5/21 Gonna try not to dwell on the doom and gloom.
6/21 Spendin' a bit more time out here then I'll head back.
7/21 Though, I'm gonna be in for it when I get home.
(A) I'm sure everyone will understand. You sound like a great guy.
(B) Perhaps you can suggest a big camp out for everyone?
8/21 They're gonna be heaps mad but yeah, they'll get it. That's actually a mad idea. I'll be keepin' that in mind.
9/21 Oh hey, I completely forgot.
10/21 Got so caught up in all the me talk I forgot to ask ya.
11/21 What do I call you?
12/21 Can't keep callin' ya my larrikin like I've been doin' in my head.
(A) Normally people call me Marshmallow but I don't mind an extra nickname.
(B) Marshmallow. Don't ask.
13/21 Hey, I love marshmallows. I'm on board that name. Well, that's my favourite lolly! So it couldn't be more perfect.
14/21 Alright, I gotta go dark for a bit. Later.
Pause 3 day pause
15/21 Back. Had to fashion a giant emergency fly swatter. Don't ask.
16/21 But it's just as well. I'm gonna have to run for good now.
17/21 This battery is on its way out and there aren't any chargers out here.
18/21 But I'll keep it on me and grab your number from it later.
(A) Good luck!
(B) Be sure to let me know when you're back!
19/21 Thanks cobber! Bloody oath!
20/21 I'll leave ya with a cheeky pic to remember me.
21/21 [Jaxon Photo 3]
1/∞ Everyone's gotta let off some steam, even in the bush.
(A) But the drop bears!
(B) Are you sure being in the trees is a good idea?!
2/∞ Ohhhh, right. Ah. Let me explain.
3/∞ All of that is fake.
4/∞ It's a tall tale to tell people who don't know about them.
5/∞ But don't tell anyone else. It's tradition for screwing with tourists. National secret.
(A) My lips are sealed
(B) Honored to be part of the joke.
6/∞ Good on ya. Honored? You mean honoured, yeah?
7/∞ Appreciated. Ah nevermind, not important now.
8/∞ It's been a heck of a ride, Marshmallow.
9/∞ Be safe out there in civilisation.
10/∞ Oh, and 'thong' is what we call flip flops out here.
11/∞ Sorry to disappoint. But that little mix up had me in stitches.
12/∞ Anyway, take care.
13/∞ Catch ya later.

Uncut Version[]

The NSFW track first diverges from the SFW track at 13/33, after your second response. All three pictures are different between versions.

Progress "Uncut" chat
1/33 Anyone there?
2/33 Hello?
3/33 Wonderin' if this number's a dud?
(A) Hi? Someone is here.
(B) New phone, who dis?
4/33 Bloody awesome. Just a rando in the middle of woop woop.
5/33 Found a phone out here and wondered if it'd connect.
6/33 Don't know what to do now.
7/33 Haven't had much human contact for a while.
8/33 Name's Jaxon.
9/33 How's it going?
(A) Can't complain. Always happy to have someone interesting to talk to.
(B) Same old, same old.
10/33 Sick. Sounds nice.
11/33 Can't relate, haha. I'm buggered out here.
12/33 Decided to avoid civilisation a while back.
13/33 But fuck me tender.
14/33 Mostly, I love it out here...
15/33 But talking to someone that's not an animal... That's a nice change of pace.
(A) I too forget what that's like sometimes.
(B) Awww, but they're so cute when they talk back with their little fuzzy mouths.
16/33 Doing some social distancin' of your own, aye? You been eating strange berries, or something?
17/33 Good on ya. No judgement. Do what ya gotta, you know?
18/33 Bit of rough and tumble out here.
19/33 Again. Don't get me wrong. This is what I signed on for.
20/33 But I miss wearing thongs.
21/33 Can't prance about the bush wearing those. A man's liable to get bit.
(A) I'm... sorry?
(B) If Tarzan can wear a loincloth, why can't you wear a thong?
22/33 Uhhhh... You're excused? Huh?
23/33 What's so weird about wearing thongs? Well, I'd wear more than one, obviously.
24/33 That's all me and my mates would wear back in the day. But what's it got to do with Tarzan?
25/33 Nothing better for nipping off to the pub for a pint on a hot day. Too much sun, love?
26/33 I take it you don't wear a lot of thongs.
27/33 Comfy. That's all I'm gonna say.
28/33 Can't wear 'em with socks or I look like a bit of a dag.
(A) I have so many questions.
(B) Has the sun gotten to you?
29/33 You not the full quid? Sun's bloody beautiful, no issue there.
30/33 Ah crap. Give me a mo, I'm flat out right now.
31/33 Thing's gettin' a bit iffy on my end.
Pause 4 hour pause
32/33 Alright, back. Take a gander.
33/33 [Jaxon Photo 1]
(A) That's not a knife.
(B) Woah. Look at this tall drink of water.
1/38 Well, it's not a spoon, that's for sure. Haha, thanks, I try to keep myself trim.
2/38 Sorry 'bout that.
3/38 Ya know how them drop bears be.
4/38 Always gotta be on the lookout.
(A) The what now?
(B) Bears that drop from the sky?!
5/38 Drop bears. Mean pieces of crap. Hahaha, nah mate.
6/38 Hang from trees, waiting for their prey. Trees. They hang from the branches waitin' for their next meal.
7/38 Get too close to their trees, they fall on ya and rip ya to shreds. Never cross paths with a drop bear, you'll regret it.
8/38 If ya ever in the bush, keep an eye out.
9/38 Anyway, where were we at before?
(A) Talking about how you wear sexy underwear outdoors.
(B) You kept talking about thongs. And I like a guy comfortable with his masculinity.
10/38 Won't lie, I love a good pair of knickers but I don't know what you're on about. Of course I'm comfortable. But what's that got to do with a pair of thongs?
11/38 You're a funny cunt.
12/38 Actin' all clueless to keep me on my toes.
13/38 Haven't had a ripper of a time like this in ages.
(A) Did you just call me a cunt?
(B) And you're a weird bastard.
14/38 Yeah, coz ya are. I can see why'd ya think that.
15/38 Fuckin' funny cunt. Good on you. Rare praise, from me. But I take it as the biggest compliment haha.
16/38 Seriously, you don't know how much I needed this.
17/38 Not to get too real with ya or anything.
18/38 Since I did only just meet you by pickin' up a rando phone in the middle of nowhere.
19/38 Truth is, I lost some mates recently.
20/38 Me and some other blokes and sheilas partied hard in their memory.
21/38 But I couldn't seem to snap back to normal, ya know?
22/38 Didn't wanna end up reliant on the goon like some of the others were.
(A) Jaxon, I'm so sorry.
(B) So you've spent the last couple months in the bush?
23/38 Thanks. Appreciated. Probs not the best coping mechanism.
24/38 But I gotta keep going, that's all I know. But there's something good and proper about being in control.
25/38 But yeah, the bush is where I tend to land when the going's tough.
26/38 Always been a wild kid. Liked mucking around in the trees and mud.
27/38 Simple life agrees with me. It's easier.
(A) You plan to go back to your other friends, right? Can't stay out forever.
(B) You're an impressive person. But don't you think other people might need you?
28/38 Maybe a couple more weeks. Didn't up and go without telling anyone.
29/38 But you make a good point. But then again, how would they reach me if somethin' did go wrong.
30/38 You know, you remind me a little of a cousin of mine.
31/38 Bit of a mad lad. But he's got a good heart. Always rescuin' cats from trees.
32/38 Talks a bit funny. But if that's the most I can complain about a bloke, that bloke is doing something right.
(A) That sounds a LOT like a guy I know. Goes by Garret?
(B) People like that are handy when you've got to deal with a lot of bull.
33/38 Well, wrestle my wallaby. Sounds like you know him. Judging by your word choice there, I think we're both on the same page, love.
34/38 And if you're a friend of Garret, you're a friend of Jaxon.
35/38 Alright, I'm gonna go clear my head for a bit.
36/38 Back in a tick.
Pause 2 day pause
37/38 Fed up with these muthafuckin' water snakes in this muthafuckin' river.
38/38 [NSFW photo]
(A) It must've liked the view. I know I do.
(B) Bright side, you found a snack?
1/21 There ya go again makin' me laugh. Ain't that the truth.
2/21 How else am I supposed to wash up? Gotta get completely starkers haha. I'll save this little fucker for later.
3/21 Wanna thank ya real quick.
4/21 You really pulled my head in before.
5/21 Gonna try not to dwell on the doom and gloom.
6/21 Spendin' a bit more time out here then I'll head back.
7/21 Though, I'm gonna be in for it when I get home.
(A) I'm sure everyone will understand. You sound like a great guy.
(B) Perhaps you can suggest a big camp out for everyone?
8/21 They're gonna be heaps mad but yea, they'll get it. That's actually a mad idea. I'll be keepin' that in mind.
9/21 Oh hey, I completely forgot.
10/21 Got so caught up in all the me talk I forgot to ask ya.
11/21 What do I call you?
12/21 Can't keep callin' ya my larrikin like I've been doin' in my head.
(A) Normally people call me Marshmallow but I don't mind an extra nickname.
(B) Marshmallow. Don't ask.
13/21 Hey, I love marshmallows. I'm on board that name. Well, that's my favourite lolly! So it couldn't be more perfect.
14/21 Alright, I gotta go dark for a bit. Later.
Pause 3 day pause
15/21 Back. Had to fashion a giant emergency fly swatter. Don't ask.
16/21 But it's just as well. I'm gonna have to run for good now.
17/21 This battery is on its way out and there aren't any chargers out here.
18/21 But I'll keep it on me and grab your number from it later.
(A) Good luck!
(B) Be sure to let me know when you're back!
19/21 Thanks cobber! Bloody oath!
20/21 I'll leave ya with a cheeky pic to remember me.
21/21 [NSFW photo]
1/∞ Everyone's gotta let off some steam, even in the bush.
(A) But the drop bears!
(B) Are you sure being in the trees is a good idea?!
2/∞ Ohhhh, right. Ah. Let me explain.
3/∞ It's all bullshit.
4/∞ It's a tall tale to tell people who don't know about them.
5/∞ But don't tell anyone else. It's tradition for screwing with tourists. National secret.
(A) Nothing up there is going to ruin your alone time?
(B) Watch out for any other types of snakes.
6/∞ Couple of animals might have a perv but whatever. Nothin' is gonna be bothering me up here 'sides some bugs.
7/∞ Horny as fuck. My snake is the focus right now.
8/∞ It's been a heck of a ride, Marshmallow.
9/∞ Be safe out there in civilisation.
10/∞ Oh, and 'thong' is what we call flip flops out here.
11/∞ Sorry to disappoint. But that little mix up had me in stitches.
12/∞ Anyway, take care.
13/∞ Catch ya later.

Gallery[]

Advertisement